Friday, October 20, 2006
Plato and the Rest
This I love the most.
I went to school today. Just in time for lunch at Plato and INTFILO. Hahaha, I love the feeling of sitting down and playing pusoy dos with my friends. One day without it makes me feel so bored and empty. Hahaha, yeah, cards addict, I know.
Well, what happened today? Well, I got around to palm reading again, which I haven't done in a while. Its all for a good cause anyway. My friend needed the help. :)
I fixed up my blog. hahahaha. I am just so happy. hehehe. Though its not really my hard work per se. Hey, I still made it.
Well, what else...
I found myself staring dead at the floor again earlier during INTFILO. No, it wasn't because of the topic. Unlike other people, I find INTFILO very interesting. Actually, I didn't know why. I was thinking of one person, but I didn't know who. I just can't put my finger on it. No, I can't even say I was thinking of a person. I was just thinking. That's it.
I've been doing that quite often now. Its making my life rather a bit more complicated than it should be. I thought things would go well, but lo and behold, they won't. Its a matter of knowing I guess and that's where I need help. I wish someone could read my palm too so I'd konw what to do. I just need the proper guidance. I really do.
"To doubt something is an affirmation to its existence....When you doubt, you exist"
I like this quote. It contradicts itself but it proves so many a thing. Its like, we're only deceiving ourself to the fact that we do not want to believe, but its right there, exisitng. Why we doubt is in perfect human nature. We try and shield ourselves from what we do not understand or even comprehend. We just want to be free from anything that will pre-occupy our minds with fear, anxiety or any other negative emotions. This is why we falter into doubt, but doubt isn't just for this purpose. I believe it has many other reasons, like the ones doubting.
We want to know more about this thing that we do not understand, therefore we doubt it. We do not want to jsut be simply caught into its non complexities, thats why we doubt it. I don't know why, but we doubt continuously even if we know we will wait and look so hard for the answer that might never come. I'mbeginning to understand why we lose hope at times. With all our lingering doubts, with all our worries and fears. We lose hope.
So sad, yes, but its a fact. Its what's happening to me right now and I can't accept it. I want to be sure, but I can't have it. I want to hold and grasp the reality with my own two hands but I cant..
I'm holding on still to what might be my future. I just hope there is. I miss the good old days where things weren't so complex and that what was said was said and that was it. Now we have a lot of hidden things we use to hurt people or ourselves.
Well, I guess that's it...
Soundtrack: Dreaming With a Broken Heart by John Mayer
Kim zzz...6:36 PM
slip into the night...
He Says, She Says
Lights will guide me home... I'm alright... I'll fix you...